Tag Archives: drama

Building… Again


Last night, the stake calendar people who received the ward building request by accident of a glitch in the form, emailed a rejection notice for me on the event with the words “this has been communicated to the scheduler” on the bottom. I knew a scheduling meeting had occurred last week. I was waiting to hear back from those who attended that meeting if I had received the room or not for our Ring Ceremony. I emailed back the guy from whom the denial email came asking if that meant that I couldn’t use the room. And then I started crying. I’m so frustrated with all of this.

I tearfully showed Randy the email and he decided to call back the stake scheduling guy to figure out what was going on. The man told Randy that the guy who sent the email who isn’t in charge of scheduling the room, told him that we had the room. I’m guessing then that they had the meeting and put us in the calendar. A call back to that effect instead of a cryptic denial letter would have been nice.

When Randy first joined the church, he started a blog where he and several coauthors could write about the experiences of moving from being an Evangelical Christian to being a Mormon Christian. All of the people he wrote the blog with were new converts like himself and he is the only active church member out of the group remaining. They’ve all gone inactive.

He’s had a lot of rough experiences, including this run around about getting married in the Temple and using the gym for our Ring Ceremony. With drama like this going on, it’s no wonder his friends haven’t stayed active in the church. There are other churches out there who will let us get married in a manner that will be more welcoming to our nonmember friends and families and who won’t make life hell for us as we try to schedule a simple Ring Ceremony.

I’m not going inactive, but this mess has definitely left me with the thought that church members can be quite hurtful to new converts and to each other and that we are to blame for our own poor new convert retention rate. Perhaps members wouldn’t be so prone to “church vacations,” as we jokingly call periods of inactivity, if we weren’t such jerks to each other.

So much drama

On Sunday, I still hadn’t heard back (like he promised) or got a hold of the ward building scheduler, so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I didn’t want to wait until the last minute and not have a room for our Ring Ceremony. I put notices on the gym doors that the gym would be in use on January 15th and to call me if they had any questions. No one had any questions, but the Stake President saw the notices. He was one of the people the glitched building scheduling online form emailed instead of emailing the correct person, so he has been in the loop since the beginning of how hard of a time I was having in scheduling this.

He got in touch with the stake building scheduler and told him to take down my notes and get my room scheduled. Now the stake is meeting with him and all of the ward schedulers to figure out why people are having such a hard time getting things scheduled. The stake scheduler called me to tell me how upset the Stake President was and that now there were going to be meetings. He told me he took down my signs. And that’s where the fun began.

The stake scheduler ended up being someone I knew from the ward I first lived in when my ex and I moved here from Arkansas. I sang in the choir with him and his family. His wife was my visiting teacher and when I was pregnant, she took me to prenatal appointments because she knew I couldn’t drive. That was much easier than taking the bus! But the relationship between his family and mine wasn’t all sunshine and roses.

My ex and I couldn’t make an assigned chapel cleaning day. We arranged for substitutes, but they didn’t show. The now-stake-scheduler-guy and the then-counselor-in-the-bishopric was upset about that. He and my ex had a quite irreverent argument in the chapel the following Sunday before church service in front of everyone.

This man was in the Bishopric with the Bishop who refused to allow me to go to the temple to receive my endowment. Church policy states that worthy women may attend the temple without their husbands if their husbands give permission. I was worthy, my then-husband wanted me to go. He said no. I disagreed with his judgment, making them all very uncomfortable.

So between not getting a long with my ex and between not understanding why I disagreed with the leadership of the Bishopric, this guy really didn’t get along with me and mine. I had no problem with him. I realize that my ex is really good at angering people and that even people in church leadership positions aren’t immune to losing their temper sometimes. I’ve since gone to the temple. I’m over any drama from that time in my life and from that ward. But I guess the stake scheduler isn’t over it. The entire conversation was at best uncomfortable and at worst rude.

I was polite. I said please and thank you. I didn’t push his buttons or bring up the past. I did the right thing.

Finally, we hung up the phone and I called Randy crying. That man hurt my feelings to the point of tears and it’s stressing me out trying to get the room scheduled. So, yah. What’s next in the building scheduling fiasco? Bring it! LOL. Ugh.